October 16, 2009
Good Day in College.
The highlight of my second year in college was Thursday, October 15,
2009. It started out as a feeling; I felt okay to be awake (I had no
drowsiness overstay its welcome, no
I'm-about-to-die-if-I-don't-eat-something-this-minute morning hunger,
and I didn't feel the need to bash my cellphone to pieces as its alarm
went off), and it was an inspiring feeling. Then that feeling grew into
a hope; perhaps today I'll be lucky and win the lottery, or perhaps
today will be the day I meet the next person I'll fall in love with.
Then I had a quiet thought, is anyone home, which then turned into a quiet word, hello? And then that word grew louder and louder, until I sang a battle cry. No one is home! Yay! I hop to the kitchen, start boiling some water, skip to the living room, place my iPod
to play with surround sound speakers, and jump over to the couch, where
I had already laid out my homework utensils: the chemistry lab
notebook, a graphing calculator and a scientific, my blue pen, and my
laptop. I do my usual check of the school's online website, and notice
my psychology professor has posted grades for the midterm we took
Monday. Hell yea... Hell YEA!! One question wrong. Just one. Out of the entire midterm, I had just one question wrong!! Hoorah! I share the top spot in the class of 277 students with a mere 2 others. It's finally my moment to shine.
After coming back down to earth, I begin preparing my lab notebook for today's lab; I draw the tables, set up the calculations, underline here, bold that... It's all ready for me to just fill in the blanks with data. I'm amazed at how much Chem (especially AP Chem) prepared me for this course. I'm actually thinking AP Chem might have been more stressful, but of course, the year has just begun. I catch the shuttle to campus, run up 4 flights of stairs and arrive at the lab. I set up my station, let's see, buret, clamps, NaOH solution, aaaaaaaaaaand done! I have the best trials I've ever had titrating an organic acid with NaOH to the phenolphthalein's endpoint (you know, the lab where you pour solution until it turns pink?). Well, each of the four trials resulted in extremely accurate and precise measurements, with the solution turning only the slightest shade of pink. Wow, that's really good! Could you titrate mine? You look like a pro! Hey, good job! Yea, lol, thanks. I'm the first one to finish, and leave the lab a full hour and thirty minutes early.
I walk over to see Carin and wish her a happy birthday. When I gave her a hug, "wow, you're so skinny!" Confidence boost! Quick note: I don't know for sure how I feel when I think about my body image. I know that I'm skinny, but for some reason, I don't feel it's enough. I feel the need to drop a few inches off my waist. I've actually spoken about this with Kaitlin (I know it would be a horrible idea to speak about weight with someone who is even a tad bit insecure themselves, but she's awesome and is comfortable with who she is), on two occasions. One was a quickie; two or three weeks ago, when we had a pool party, one of her friends (about my size, but taller) needed pool shorts. I grab my favorite ones and as I hand it to him I say "Here you go. These might be too big, though.." My roommate, "are you kidding me? You have like a 28" waist!". Uncomfortable. The other was last night. We were outside our apartment, just talking. Oh, actually, before that there was another two nights ago. lol. I asked her what she thought if I was Jack Skellington for Halloween. "Oh, you'd be good! You're tall and skinny!" Height is another issue, which I'll bring up later, somehow. But Jack Skellington is bones. I didn't think I could pull it off. I felt ridiculously overweight (compared to Jack Skellington, that is). So anyway, last night my roommate and I are talking about a lot of stuff, and one point that I brought up was that pressure for girls to be skinny is lightening up a bit, now that more and more people are against ultra skinny models and such. However, there is still a lot of pressure for certain guys, especially in the gay community, to be thin. Unfortunately, I'm feeling that pressure. And it sucks ass. I must explain myself, though: I am aware that the pressure is dumb, and that I'm already skinny, and there's no need to worry or even feed into the hype, and that I shouldn't be worrying about it, but it's still there. The idea of becoming thinner is still floating around in my mind. It's stupid to be thinking this, and I dislike that I do, but it's going to take a lot to change it. She let me know that I'm skinny, and that I shouldn't be thinking about things like this. At one point in our conversation she said that she would guess my weight. I was horrified. I said NO. Nuh-uh. No Way. You are NOT going to guess how much I weigh. She asked, "are you afraid that I'll guess too high or too low?" "I'm afraid that you'll guess too low". She was surprised, as probably most would be, saying that if she guesses lower than what my actual weight is, it means I look skinnier than I actually look, which is a good thing. No Way, not in my book. I argued with this analogy: okay, imagine you are the top student in your calculus class. All other students look up to you and are amazed that you always have the highest score on exams and such. Then one day you get your exam passed back and you see that you got a C. Everyone comes up to you (they don't know what you got) and say things like "Hey, this guy probably set the curve again!" "Good job on the test, man!" "You always get such high scores, how do you do it!" etc. Personally, I would not feel good at all. And it's exactly how I would feel if someone guessed my weight and they guessed too low.
Ummmm, well anyway, so I wish Carin a happy birthday. I head home, wash the dishes all the while having my playlist that includes a large amount of Regina Spektor, Vienna Teng, Alicia Keys, and Shakira, on shuffle and singing along. Will the neighbors ever complain? I don't think so, especially with songs like Anna Rose and Chemo Limo.
I ran for a good hour and 15 minutes. SO relaxing, even though I just barely avoided running into an on-coming bicycle.. twice. Afterwards, I headed to the apartment gym, cooled down and pumped some iron! lol. Heading towards my apartment I see the Peter!! I scratch his head and rush over to my apartment and bring out a can of cat food. He got so excited when I came back that he rubbed madly against my legs, and as I opened the tin cover and placed it on the floor he gave me one final push with his head.
Yay for animal friends.
As I crouched, watching the little fella eat, two girls approached me and crouched down as well. They said nothing! uhhhhh awkward silence.... "You can come pet it, if you want. The cat is very nice". I'm guessing they aren't much talkers... Pause... "Soooo... do you guys go to UCSD?" "Yes, I do. My sister here goes already graduated". Thank god they responded. From then on the conversation went a bit more smoothly, until I noticed the time (near 11pm) and decided it's best to head to the apartment and finish homework.
So overall, a very nice day. =)
After coming back down to earth, I begin preparing my lab notebook for today's lab; I draw the tables, set up the calculations, underline here, bold that... It's all ready for me to just fill in the blanks with data. I'm amazed at how much Chem (especially AP Chem) prepared me for this course. I'm actually thinking AP Chem might have been more stressful, but of course, the year has just begun. I catch the shuttle to campus, run up 4 flights of stairs and arrive at the lab. I set up my station, let's see, buret, clamps, NaOH solution, aaaaaaaaaaand done! I have the best trials I've ever had titrating an organic acid with NaOH to the phenolphthalein's endpoint (you know, the lab where you pour solution until it turns pink?). Well, each of the four trials resulted in extremely accurate and precise measurements, with the solution turning only the slightest shade of pink. Wow, that's really good! Could you titrate mine? You look like a pro! Hey, good job! Yea, lol, thanks. I'm the first one to finish, and leave the lab a full hour and thirty minutes early.
I walk over to see Carin and wish her a happy birthday. When I gave her a hug, "wow, you're so skinny!" Confidence boost! Quick note: I don't know for sure how I feel when I think about my body image. I know that I'm skinny, but for some reason, I don't feel it's enough. I feel the need to drop a few inches off my waist. I've actually spoken about this with Kaitlin (I know it would be a horrible idea to speak about weight with someone who is even a tad bit insecure themselves, but she's awesome and is comfortable with who she is), on two occasions. One was a quickie; two or three weeks ago, when we had a pool party, one of her friends (about my size, but taller) needed pool shorts. I grab my favorite ones and as I hand it to him I say "Here you go. These might be too big, though.." My roommate, "are you kidding me? You have like a 28" waist!". Uncomfortable. The other was last night. We were outside our apartment, just talking. Oh, actually, before that there was another two nights ago. lol. I asked her what she thought if I was Jack Skellington for Halloween. "Oh, you'd be good! You're tall and skinny!" Height is another issue, which I'll bring up later, somehow. But Jack Skellington is bones. I didn't think I could pull it off. I felt ridiculously overweight (compared to Jack Skellington, that is). So anyway, last night my roommate and I are talking about a lot of stuff, and one point that I brought up was that pressure for girls to be skinny is lightening up a bit, now that more and more people are against ultra skinny models and such. However, there is still a lot of pressure for certain guys, especially in the gay community, to be thin. Unfortunately, I'm feeling that pressure. And it sucks ass. I must explain myself, though: I am aware that the pressure is dumb, and that I'm already skinny, and there's no need to worry or even feed into the hype, and that I shouldn't be worrying about it, but it's still there. The idea of becoming thinner is still floating around in my mind. It's stupid to be thinking this, and I dislike that I do, but it's going to take a lot to change it. She let me know that I'm skinny, and that I shouldn't be thinking about things like this. At one point in our conversation she said that she would guess my weight. I was horrified. I said NO. Nuh-uh. No Way. You are NOT going to guess how much I weigh. She asked, "are you afraid that I'll guess too high or too low?" "I'm afraid that you'll guess too low". She was surprised, as probably most would be, saying that if she guesses lower than what my actual weight is, it means I look skinnier than I actually look, which is a good thing. No Way, not in my book. I argued with this analogy: okay, imagine you are the top student in your calculus class. All other students look up to you and are amazed that you always have the highest score on exams and such. Then one day you get your exam passed back and you see that you got a C. Everyone comes up to you (they don't know what you got) and say things like "Hey, this guy probably set the curve again!" "Good job on the test, man!" "You always get such high scores, how do you do it!" etc. Personally, I would not feel good at all. And it's exactly how I would feel if someone guessed my weight and they guessed too low.
Ummmm, well anyway, so I wish Carin a happy birthday. I head home, wash the dishes all the while having my playlist that includes a large amount of Regina Spektor, Vienna Teng, Alicia Keys, and Shakira, on shuffle and singing along. Will the neighbors ever complain? I don't think so, especially with songs like Anna Rose and Chemo Limo.
I ran for a good hour and 15 minutes. SO relaxing, even though I just barely avoided running into an on-coming bicycle.. twice. Afterwards, I headed to the apartment gym, cooled down and pumped some iron! lol. Heading towards my apartment I see the Peter!! I scratch his head and rush over to my apartment and bring out a can of cat food. He got so excited when I came back that he rubbed madly against my legs, and as I opened the tin cover and placed it on the floor he gave me one final push with his head.
Yay for animal friends.
As I crouched, watching the little fella eat, two girls approached me and crouched down as well. They said nothing! uhhhhh awkward silence.... "You can come pet it, if you want. The cat is very nice". I'm guessing they aren't much talkers... Pause... "Soooo... do you guys go to UCSD?" "Yes, I do. My sister here goes already graduated". Thank god they responded. From then on the conversation went a bit more smoothly, until I noticed the time (near 11pm) and decided it's best to head to the apartment and finish homework.
So overall, a very nice day. =)
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